Is having a united family, with all its members healthy and happy, your greatest source of joy and satisfaction? Like the smiles of the children, the personal and professional fulfillment of the couple, and the well-being of parents, siblings, and grandparents...
But many stumbling blocks appear on this journey, such as facing the challenges of everyday life together, financial problems, differences of opinion, and sharing responsibilities when it comes to raising children and caring for the home.
These are reasons that lead to many sleepless nights, stress, the couple fighting, and misunderstanding with the people you love the most.
We have listed for you three fundamental steps to which ALL households need to pay close attention, especially the third one, in order to bring the family together and keep it that way.
These tips help resolve conflicts, but mainly avoid many of the ills that can arise in family life. Seek the support of a health professional when needed. Human medicine is also a legacy from God!
Where to begin?
Jesus said: “My Peace I leave to you; my Peace I give to you. I do not give you the peace of the world. I give you the Peace of God that the world cannot give you.” (The Gospel according to John 14:27)
How often is there no apparent conflict, but our hearts are full of fear, anger, anguish, and pain? A quick comment can turn into a big argument.
That’s why Jesus teaches us about the Peace of God, which is born out of the inner well-being of creatures and guarantees a balanced soul, prosperity, and renewal, despite the hardships.
We need to start from within. We need to look at ourselves, our attitudes and see what we have cultivated in our feelings and thoughts. We need to draw our inspiration from Jesus, who gives us the guidelines as to how to do this and have Peace in the family.
This will even make us stronger and more conscientious when it comes to expressing what bothers us in others and in the environment where we find ourselves.
This article is not in any way intended to evoke or strengthen any feeling of guilt that may be in you, since we all have many things that need to be improved. What’s more, with God we have the capacity to overcome everything. Rest assured of this!
Here are 3 fundamental steps to bring your family together:
1. Improve dialogue in the family
In our daily life a cross word, an impulsive attitude, and the anger of the moment almost always hurt. The worst is when this feeling builds up and instead of looking for solutions, we exchange more barbs with others.
God’s Christ, in His Holy Gospel according to Luke 6:45, says that:
“A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.”
It is through this self-transformation that relationships and everything we do begin to change for the better. Sincere dialogue at home is essential for this to happen.
Look out for or create moments when it’s just you and the person (or other family members), talk calmly and have an honest conversation with them. Say what’s troubling you and making you very sad, deep down in your heart. Be open and listen to the counter-arguments that will come up.
Before you begin this dialogue, say a prayer and ask God for inspiration! Also keep in mind this valuable lesson from the President-Preacher of the Religion of God, of the Christ, and of the Holy Spirit1, José de Paiva Netto:
“The heart is more willing to listen when Love is the basis of dialogue.”
Make it clear that the idea is to resolve the issue and not to cause more conflict or prove who was right or wrong. When we are truly moved by this Love, it is capable of creating a very strong energy of understanding and harmony in the environment.
Love promotes the creature’s inner renewal and helps us have the wisdom we need to say the right word at the right time.
Another important point is not to point out only the faults, but to recognize the qualities of the other person as well. Listing only their flaws may lead to them creating a very negative image of themselves, or provoke revolt against you and the situation, and this will not be at all constructive for family relationships.
“I once again pointed out that one does not build a better country and ensure people are happier by listing their faults, but by correcting them and catalyzing their accomplishments,” says the President-Preacher of the Religion of the Third Millennium.
2. Do Good Deeds
In his Epistle (2:14 to 18 and 26) the Apostle James, who learned from Jesus, gives us this warning about our deeds and the consequences of not doing good deeds:
Faith Without Deeds Is Dead
“14 What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them?
“15 Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food.
“16 If one of you says to them, ‘Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,’ but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it?
“17 In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.
“18 But someone will say, ‘You have faith; I have deeds.’ Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds.
“26 As the body without the Spirit is dead, so Faith without deeds is dead.”
This lesson is very useful in the struggle for a united family, because after reflecting and talking about what is bad for us, it is not enough just to want things to get better; we need to act, do something good about it.
For example, we often need to take the first step and set an example of peace, concord, and forgiveness.
This passage also invites us to ask the following question: Are we treating people as we would like to be treated? We need to be aware of the actions of those around us, but we must also reflect (in a balanced way) on our own faults.
If we start to set a good example, our words will become much more powerful. In some cases this will take longer, but the good example continues until the person is motivated to do the same.
It’s important to emphasize that cases of aggression and other types of violence need to be handled with due care. When they occur, they need to be reported so that the necessary measures can be taken by the responsible bodies.
3. Seek Spiritual Protection for your home
Among the challenges that have been presented, one may even be sustaining the others: a lack of Spiritual Protection in the home.
The point is that we’re never alone; Spirits of Light, Blessed Souls, Guardian Angels are always accompanying us and want the best for us, even if we don’t notice their actions.
But when we don’t cultivate good habits in the home, such as respect, patience, love, or even if we read things, watch programs, or listen to music that do not instill good values in us, spirits that are in this same vibration can approach us and have a negative influence on the environment.
They are dark souls, inferior spirits, obsessor spirits who are ignorant of the Divine Laws.
The Spirits of Light are much stronger than those who are momentarily in the darkness, but who take advantage of any situation of imbalance, including in the family, to incite with even greater intensity those intrigues that we ourselves begin.
Sometimes they instigate anger, discouragement, and hopelessness if―it is worth stressing―these feelings have already been sown in us. For example, what kind of energy do you feel during and after an argument at home?
If this negative energy is frequent and nurtured by family members, spiritual breaches are being opened and allowing spirits of this type to draw close to the family.
Paiva Netto, who has been a scholar of the Holy Bible for over 6 decades, warns us on page 132 of his book A Missão dos Setenta e o “lobo invisível” [The Mission of the Seventy and the “Invisible Wolf”]:
“The action of the ‘invisible wolves’ (unevolved souls) in the minds of those who do not know how to defend themselves―or, even in a dangerously foolish way, who do not want to―thus moves into the field of the most fearful obsessions and subsequent possessions, fiercely imprisoning those who are not on their guard.”
Later, on page 134, the author concludes:
“Let us trust in Jesus, follow His words and examples with perseverance, and we will be protected. Thus, we shall be freed from the action of these extremely low-ranking spirits, these as-yet-unknown causers of Earth’s great dramas, not only in our private lives, but also in the realms of government.”
With these explanations, you can already begin to realize how important spiritual knowledge is when it comes to ensuring a united family.
This Superior Spiritual World that surrounds us can greatly help us overcome our personal and collective challenges. So study this subject in greater depth! It will be good for you and for the people you love.
Read other valuable tips:
+ What Can We Do for There to Be Peace in the Family?
+ My family—Was I born into the rigth one?
+ Prayer at Home
If you have any question and/or comment about this and other topics, send them to the Religion of the Third Millennium. Let the Ecumenical Spirituality become a part of your life! And if you felt good reading this article, share it! It might touch the heart of other people too.
1 Religion of God, of the Christ, and of the Holy Spirit — also called the Religion of the Third Millennium, and the Religion of Universal Love. This is the Ecumenical Religion of Brazil and the world.