How to respond to psychological violence in relationships?

the Editorial Staff
Wednesday | September 09, 2015 | 9:00 AM

Psychological violence is frequently silent or implicit through harsh words, accusations, and demands, or even in gestures, looks, sarcasm, and jokes that lead to loss of self-esteem, depression, suicide, and other harm.

The first reaction people have when they suffer of psychological  violence is to distance themselves from the person who is practicing it. But how to respond to situations when distancing oneself is not an option, such as in cases involving work, family, or marital relations?


Attempts at dialogue or seeking professional help may be the first step, because ignoring the situation or even giving as good as one gets does not solve the problem. Violence and hatred increase the aggressiveness in relationships.

In fact, we need to be careful not to confuse justice with vengeance.

Knowing how to defend oneself is essential in the material and, above all, spiritual sphere, as the President-Preacher of the Religion of God, of the Christ, and of the Holy Spirit1, José de Paiva Netto, points out:

 “(…) We must always fight for Peace, but not be incapable of defending ourselves, naturally without the ferocious and destructive spirit of revenge, because it morally confuses people. Let us never be, therefore, accomplices to what is wrong, but incorporate in our Souls this noble and civilizing alliance as the feeling of benevolence that is born in the heart (...). In order to make this reasoning clearer, I turn to this warning from Confucius, with which I have identified myself with since I was young. From the height of his millennial wisdom he says:

“Repay Kindness with Kindness, but evil with Justice.”

The famous Chinese thinker was obviously not referring to revenge, which is diametrically opposed to the sense of true Justice.” 2

So we need to cultivate what the Religion of Universal Love presents as Good Thoughts. These are thoughts that, linked to God—understood as Love3—bring equilibrium to human beings and thus, as a consequence, influence them to adopt more sensible attitudes without hurting themselves or the people around them.

With Good Thoughts it will be possible to free oneself of the anguish, sadness, and hatred that build up in relationships, mainly those in which some type of violence occurs.

It means being intimately and spiritually strong in order not to become imprisoned by these feelings that only harm us.

How to achieve Good Thoughts

There are many ways to achieve peace for our Soul. One of the most efficient mechanisms is sincere prayer, which can be done in a minute of silence or by meditating. In this way, we open our mind to thoughts that are beneficial to our heart, like those directed at happiness, well-being, and Peace, which overcome degrading situations.


It is important for us to stress also that when we cultivate good thoughts then Blessed Souls, Spirits of Light, which are attuned to our good reflections, will draw close to us. They are our Guardian Angels, Celestial Protectors, who are always by our side in order to inspire us to make the best decisions.

In his book Conversando com o seu Anjo da Guarda – A Agenda Espiritual [Talking to your Guardian Angel – The Spiritual Agenda], Brother Dr. Bezerra de Menezes (Spirit) explains:

“The Guardian Angels, tireless Protectors of the World of Truth, enter our Soul and, with us as intermediaries, direct to the beloved Brothers and Friends on Earth the blessings and enlightenment necessary to overcome the obstacles that appear in their existence, both the simplest as well as the most difficult ones, even if they are of an apparently insurmountable nature for human life. Jesus said: ‘Everything is possible for one who believes’ (The Gospel according to Mark 9:23).”

Psychological violence, before being externalized, begins in the innermost part of Beings and, therefore, it is from there that we must deal with our feelings and seek the inspiration necessary for not falling into this type of trap.

An invitation to prayer

The objective of the Ecumenical Chain of Prayers of the Religion of the Third Millennium is to include the names of all those who wish to receive the influences needed to achieve Good Thoughts, enlightened by God.

Click here: We invite you to pray for your family and friends!

1 Religion of God, of the Christ, and of the Holy Spirit — also called the Religion of the Third Millennium, and the Religion of Universal Love. This is the Ecumenical Religion of Brazil and the world.

2 Extract taken from the article “Science, Technology, Innovation, Culture, and the Role of Ecumenical Solidarity,” sent to the United Nations in 2013 during the High-Level Segment of the UN Economic and Social Council (ECOSOC).

3 “God is Love”: definition found in the First Epistle of John 4:8.

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